Whew, I guess when it was time to act, it was time to act! This past month really has been a whirlwind, a haze, a blur.
I did in fact start my chemo regimen on July 2 in order to get this ball rolling. The oncologist put me on a low dose because of the baby. Three of my weekly treatments is a normal "round" administered at once. So a normal infusion would be one treatment and then a three week break. Doing it this way was supposed to be easier on my body/baby, but it caught up with me pretty quick. When my labs were run after my first treatment, all of my blood count levels came back low. In fact, when I went in for my second infusion, the nurse scared me to death, saying that we might not be doing chemo that day. I cried. My treatment is time sensitive. I didn't have a week to push back treatment. We needed to squeeze in my "round" so that we could deliver baby boy. After my tears, my explanation, and a talk with the doctor, the nurse apologized for being misinformed but also told me that in order to receive chemo the following week, I would need to have a blood transfusion. My blood counts were only going to get lower. I went in on a Tuesday for the transfusion and received my third chemo infusion the following day.
That was my third infusion, the end of the first "round." When I went in the following week (this past Tues) for my check-up, we again found that my blood counts were extremely low. My oncologist made the decision to cancel my chemo for this week, but also made the call to my obstetrician to get me set up for delivery. Instead of standing still, we're going to get things done. I know I state things "matter of factly," but I do experience emotion too. I am SO incredibly exhausted- not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. Going through cancer treatment sucks. Going through pregnancy can suck. Put them both together?? Luckily, only a very small percentage of people will have to experience it. I posted a definition for nadir on Facebook a couple of days ago. It's a noun, it means the lowest point. That day was more than likely my lowest point in my blood counts. It was also a very low point mentally for me. Waking up and doing this day after day takes a lot of strength and a person can only push so much before needing a rest.
So today I am resting. I am preparing myself for the birth of my son and the chaos that will follow. I have to report to the hospital tomorrow morning (7/27) to get the first of two shots that will prepare his lungs for birth. I will then come home to get things in order to be admitted on Monday morning (7/28). On Monday morning, I will get the second of the two shots and have an IV started so that they can give me an infusion (I don't remember of what) that will help prevent any brain bleeds in my premature baby boy. They will also check my blood counts to make sure I am ready for surgery and will perform another blood transfusion if necessary. If all goes according to plan, I will meet my son on Tuesday, July 29th.
After delivery, I will be able to have the rest of what I need done. The first step will be imaging. I will hopefully have a PET scan during this week. The oncologist needs it to see if the cancer is anywhere else in my body and the radiation oncologist needs it to plan the radiation. Chemo and radiation can be done concurrently and we all have our fingers crossed that it will relieve the pain in my hips and legs. We're looking for this to start the next week. I will also need a CT scan of my femurs and pelvis so that the orthopedic oncologist can set up a surgery. I have been on bedrest since we saw the last x-rays. The ortho thinks I need pins in my femoral head, that's how thin it looked. This surgery may or may not be pushed out a little while, it all depends on the imaging and how my body responds to chemo, radiation, and the bone building drug I will receive once I am no longer pregnant.
I have had generous offers to help set up a meal train during this chaotic time. I never know where I'll be, what I'll be doing, or how I'll feel, so I very much appreciate these efforts. There will be appointments and tests and visits to the NICU, along with the fighting and healing... If you are interested in dropping anything off for my family, I will try to get you the details asap. If you are interested in helping out in any other way, just let me know. A lot of people ask me what I "need," but I have no idea. What I need is to get rid of this beast and I would more than appreciate ANY way you would want to help.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Stage IV
I'm pretty sure I knew from the beginning. When I started having pains in my hips and legs that were nothing I ever experienced before, I knew the cancer had spread. Trying to remain optimistic was tough, so others did it for me. I appreciate everyone who tried to find alternative explanations or who believed it had to be a fluke. But it is what it is, and it is metastatic breast cancer.
The biopsy procedure went well. I was incredibly uncomfortable most of the day due to not thinking about bringing my pain medication to the hospital with me. It took longer than we expected to get me set up, but I was only under for 30-45 minutes. The doc who did the procedure, an interventional radiologist, punctured a spot down by my knee and drilled my bone. Because he had the help of CT equipment, he chose the furthest spot away from baby. When I woke, I was surprised and impressed with just how little my "wound" was. It was actually smaller than a couple of scars from biopsies they did of my breast.
After the biopsy was over, they monitored me for a while. Due to the previous day's activity, I had been having contractions before I even showed at the hospital. Due to being in pain and being dehydrated, they continued on after. Knowing the signs and symptoms, my anesthesiologist ordered a fluid bolus. By the time I got to labor and delivery and got hooked up, there was nothing to be concerned about. We stuck around for a couple of hours anyway and I was released in no more pain than I went in with.
I waited over a week and then got tossed into a whirlwind. I met with my oncologist yesterday for my results. He told me what I already knew, but he also laid out the next steps. He gave me the plan of action which involves starting chemotherapy all over again- TOMORROW. There will be no more sitting around growing a healthy baby, waiting until it's time to do something. The time is now. I will be infused once a week with a drug called carboplatin. As long as no other complications arise, we will continue this regimen until about 34 weeks when we will deliver my son in order to get even more aggressive.
Other complications are very likely to arise. I also saw the radiation oncologist yesterday as we were hoping to start radiation as soon as possible as well. They were going to focus on the spots that are in my distal femur (by my knee), but after he reviewed my latest x-rays, he realized the worst spot was way too close to baby to radiate. My femoral head, right where my femur meets my hip, appears very thinned. So much that he is concerned about it breaking, leaving me in need of a hip replacement. This is the area that is causing me that most amount of pain, so it makes sense, but is still pretty scary. I absolutely have to have this area radiated as soon as possible, and so the question was raised- how soon is to soon to deliver baby?
After talking with my OB and my perinatologist today, I am still too soon. So as of now, we go with the chemo plan and pray it slows the cancer growth really well. I also have movement restrictions so as not to put too much pressure on that area. Obviously, since I have a growing baby snuggled right in there, it will be harder than hard. I was bumped up to a small dose of morphine in order to help control the pain, as the previous med I was on just wasn't providing enough relief. I pray that once treatment starts, the pain will lessen as the growth stops.
My friends have reinitiated the Strength for Courtney campaign. If you were interested in purchasing a t-shirt but missed out, you have another chance. https://www.booster.com/strengthforcourtney2
Wish me luck and strength as I face the next steps tomorrow...
The biopsy procedure went well. I was incredibly uncomfortable most of the day due to not thinking about bringing my pain medication to the hospital with me. It took longer than we expected to get me set up, but I was only under for 30-45 minutes. The doc who did the procedure, an interventional radiologist, punctured a spot down by my knee and drilled my bone. Because he had the help of CT equipment, he chose the furthest spot away from baby. When I woke, I was surprised and impressed with just how little my "wound" was. It was actually smaller than a couple of scars from biopsies they did of my breast.
After the biopsy was over, they monitored me for a while. Due to the previous day's activity, I had been having contractions before I even showed at the hospital. Due to being in pain and being dehydrated, they continued on after. Knowing the signs and symptoms, my anesthesiologist ordered a fluid bolus. By the time I got to labor and delivery and got hooked up, there was nothing to be concerned about. We stuck around for a couple of hours anyway and I was released in no more pain than I went in with.
I waited over a week and then got tossed into a whirlwind. I met with my oncologist yesterday for my results. He told me what I already knew, but he also laid out the next steps. He gave me the plan of action which involves starting chemotherapy all over again- TOMORROW. There will be no more sitting around growing a healthy baby, waiting until it's time to do something. The time is now. I will be infused once a week with a drug called carboplatin. As long as no other complications arise, we will continue this regimen until about 34 weeks when we will deliver my son in order to get even more aggressive.
Other complications are very likely to arise. I also saw the radiation oncologist yesterday as we were hoping to start radiation as soon as possible as well. They were going to focus on the spots that are in my distal femur (by my knee), but after he reviewed my latest x-rays, he realized the worst spot was way too close to baby to radiate. My femoral head, right where my femur meets my hip, appears very thinned. So much that he is concerned about it breaking, leaving me in need of a hip replacement. This is the area that is causing me that most amount of pain, so it makes sense, but is still pretty scary. I absolutely have to have this area radiated as soon as possible, and so the question was raised- how soon is to soon to deliver baby?
After talking with my OB and my perinatologist today, I am still too soon. So as of now, we go with the chemo plan and pray it slows the cancer growth really well. I also have movement restrictions so as not to put too much pressure on that area. Obviously, since I have a growing baby snuggled right in there, it will be harder than hard. I was bumped up to a small dose of morphine in order to help control the pain, as the previous med I was on just wasn't providing enough relief. I pray that once treatment starts, the pain will lessen as the growth stops.
My friends have reinitiated the Strength for Courtney campaign. If you were interested in purchasing a t-shirt but missed out, you have another chance. https://www.booster.com/strengthforcourtney2
Wish me luck and strength as I face the next steps tomorrow...
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