Well, now that I've had time to "digest," it's time for the update.
Surgery went without a hitch. According to my family, the surgeons were pleased with how it went. I'm very surprised how anxious I was NOT going into it. Prep was pretty quick, at least the prep while I was awake. I changed into my gown with the opening in the back and put on some socks and was told I didn't have to wear the hat since I'm bald. I signed some paperwork, answered some questions and had radioactive dye injected into the tumor area. My nurse gave me the "happy juice," my plastic surgeon drew lines all over me, and I kissed my family goodnight. I was asleep before they even moved me out of the temporary room. I very vaguely remember the OR.
I also very vaguely remember recovery, but the nurse sitting with me did bring me apple juice. That was nice. The transport from recovery to my room is also fuzzy, though I remember seeing the hubby and smiling at him. I was conscious enough once they moved me to be regular bed to ask for ice water and my phone so that I could update Facebook. :) The hubs ordered my clear liquid dinner and once it arrived, my nurse gave us the go ahead for "real food." I guess I was overzealous since I hadn't eaten all day and after the first couple of bites of food, I felt nauseated. Luckily as long as I ate slowly I was okay. My dad, mom, step-dad, and husband stuck around for a little while, but to no one's surprise, I was ready to sleep for the night.
I called for my nurse around 9:00 pm to help me to the bathroom. I hadn't gone in 13 hours and I was feeling like I was ready to get up and around anyway. However, that didn't go so well. I made it to the bathroom (excruciating pain trying to get out of bed!), but almost as soon as I sat I started feeling lightheaded. I told the nurse I was dizzy. He called for the CNA to come help him. He asked how dizzy. I told him the room was black. I heard him yell "She's going down!" I remember being irritated with him that he was making me keep my head up. All I wanted was to lay down. It took both of them (both men) to get me off the toilet and onto a rolling recliner. Once I was able to lay, my head cleared. And believe it or not, I did pee during that ordeal.
Even though I was reassured that it's pretty normal for the first time up post surgery, they still sent in someone from the lab to take blood and sent someone in with an EKG machine. They also told me that I MUST wear my oxygen mask. Hooked up to the oxygen, the IV, the massaging calf boots, and having three tubes hanging from where my breasts used to be really made me feel like a patient or something. I must admit, I really didn't like that feeling.
The morning after surgery, my surgeon did the rounds and pulled my bandage up to check on it. I wasn't sure I wanted to look, but I was actually pleasantly surprised. Granted my chest wasn't the size it was when I woke up the previous morning, I still had bumps that produced cleavage due to the 100 cc's of fluid in the tissue expanders. I had a skin sparing mastectomy in order to aid the reconstruction, so the plastic surgeon was able to make a "purse string" stitches right about where my nipples used to be. This technique allows the most natural shape. It's not quite as ugly as it could have been and I'm actually looking forward to the end result.
The next step is filling the expanders a little at a time to stretch the pectoral muscles that have been manipulated on top of them and prepare me for the permanent implants. Once I reach the desired size (about 2 months from now), I will start radiation. Radiation damages skin and we want to be sure that my skin is still elastic during this expansion process. I was really hoping to not have to do radiation, but went I went for my consult with the doctor, he told me what I knew but didn't want to hear. Stage 3 = radiation. It would not have mattered what was in my lymph nodes, the tumor was just too big to take any chances.
But there was cancer in the lymph nodes. Seeing as how they removed all the breast tissue, they are sure the whole tumor is gone, but even after 8 rounds of chemotherapy there is still cancer in the nodes. This news makes me glad that I had already resigned myself to the fact that I'll be having radiation... That will zap out the remaining cancer in that local area. But I am scared that in a couple of years I won't be cancer free any more. If the beast already moved out of the breast tissue and into the lymph, there is no guarantee that it has not found another part of my body. I have an appointment with my medical oncologist (chemo doctor) on February 14th, so we'll get his take on it then.
Until then, I focus on healing, but I'm not good at being a patient. It really frustrates me when I can't do things for myself. It especially frustrates me when I can't do things for my children- like bend to kiss a boo boo or reach up to brush hair. My muscles are tight (remember the pectoral manipulation/stretching?) and I'm pretty swollen despite having three drains to take care of the fluid. The pain isn't so bad anymore, I can deal with just plain Tylenol, but getting up from a laying position is really rough. I'm only supposed to do what I can, the doctor says I'll have exercises and stretches later on.
I want to take a second to thank EVERYONE who has helped us on this journey. We haven't had to worry about food at all this past week, nor will we have to worry next week. It definitely takes a load off my mind as I'm still barely up to showering. And thank you to those who have sent cards and get well sentiments. I truly appreciate that fact that I'm am in so many hearts...
A benefit dinner for our medical debt is in the planning stages, so if you are interested, mark your calendars for March 10, 2013. More details will follow.
