I'm sure many people have come to points in their lives when they ponder "why me?" I actually have not asked this question in regard to my cancer. I know the diagnosis is still fresh, so maybe that's the reason. Or maybe the reason is that I have seen people die of cancer and others beat it. God has a plan for each person affected; those who actually had the disease and those who watched them suffer. It could be as simple as no longer judging others, like the saying "until you walk a mile in their shoes..." It could be becoming determined on finding the CURE. It could be raising awareness, it could be rasing money.
The plan could be something great, or maybe I could be His tool to show that cancer CAN happen to a 28 year old. I have already been told that this has been a reality check for some people. So I'm glad about that. Hey you reading this- Go to the doctor regularly. Get checked! I'm not glad that I have cancer, but if just ONE person "benefits" from my cancer, I am glad that I could be a useful tool.
Some updates on the medical situation: I have my port insertion surgery tomorrow (9/5) morning. I'm anxious about this since this is only the second surgery I've had in my life. My first and only other one was when I had my wisdom teeth removed right after graduating high school. I had an MRI today (torture holding still for that long!) and as soon as I got in the car to leave, I received a phone call from my oncologist. He had reviewed my CT scan and found no spots on any other organs. I do have a couple of enlarged lymph nodes, but that's not guaranteed cancer and they'll remove those when they remove my breast tumor.
Again, let me know if you have any questions! And if anybody has any tips or suggestions for me, I'd love to hear them.
I remember the day scott got his port. we had to leave the house around 5:00 am. He would always joke around with the nurses and doctors, always kept a good attitude. it was amazing to see. we got home before noon and doctors orders were for him to lay low, not even drive a car. by 6:00 in the evening he was skating. I go back and forth on the whole "god's plan" thing. I used to think that there's a reason for everything but now my beliefs are all up in the air. Some days I'm baffled by Scott's whole experience. Right now I don't think there is a reason a 10 month old baby has to lose her father. It just doesn't make sense to me. yeah, i've learned a lot in the past year but I wish that I didn't have to. Nobody should have to go through this cancer bullshit, be it 8,28,38 or even 98. I'm hoping and praying that this is a quick process for you and you make it through this unscathed.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, it's hard to understand what reason there is for a 10 month old to lose her father. (I had a friend who left behind two daughters, ages 6 and 4.) And no, nobody should have to go through it. I agree. Everyone should live a long happy and healthy life. But it happens. It happened to Scott and to you, and it's happening to me and my family. We have got to keep pushing through the days. Hugs for you Chelsea. Thank you for your support!
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